Fighting the Good Fight,

Since I wanted to hold on to the higher, less anxious thoughts of my weekend, I was pretty serious about petitioning the Lord. I went to sleep on Sunday resolutely decided I would fast until dinner at 5. I had a few bites of apple and a few almonds but that's about it. I listened to a worship service in the a.m., i sang songs, i prayed almost all the way to work. I prayed at my desk to break whatever it was that was hovering at me. And it worked- not like it was a recipe or anything- maybe a prescription, map, life line? That God sustains me and no other, not food, not work. So that when I saw the dreaded white slip- we have these communications that Sg tapes to our desks, which so far for me, have brought nothing but peril and overwork- i didn't even blink. I might've said, fuck, but still. As one of the kteachers was out with the flu and i was taking four of her classes, it was the first time she'd ever called out sick in 4 years, so... They were angels really. All so polite and attentive. It was amazing. Until the last class which did nothing but laugh boyishly with mirth, and tickled pink kind of attitudes talking in korean, that I just let them not do the work, barely pay attention to the lesson and count down with hangman for the last 15minutes, with sort of guuuyyys be quiet... omg you guys are sooo baaaaddd. I was thinking how am i going to assert my authority over these guys? Forget it. Sg overheard i lost control in the first 2ominutes and that seemed to upset her, and her overly critical and judgmental side whipped out at me, with arched eyebrows, intent eyes, and the repeated "you lost control in 20minutes?!" but she pulled back before i got completley seared. I tried not to let it throw me, and i'm trying- still- to not shut down with her completely- because no, she does not feel safe. No. She would be what we call unsafe. Tread lightly. Caution. She's actually sort of my worst scenario boss. I thought, most of my friends thought it would be the patriarchal oldguy who wants it done his way but no. I was ready for that. I want to like her, get to know her, but then wham, wham, wham. I could use with a little bureaucracy to stand between me and the bosses but as it is, it's just too small. Also today? present perfect? What is that! The other day they were doing something with commas and my head nearly exploded. I was like, woh you guys, what are you learning!? This is crazy! Anyway back to my kdrama about the creation of the korean alphabet- totally epic. Next time will have to tell you about a typical class of 7 year olds.