questions from 6,000 miles away:

how ARE you?
the week flew by thankfully. i'm also trying to get ridiculous amounts of sleep. and hopefully it's not just the anxiety talking. i had a really good chat with LL and i'll recap more about reorienting my focus from "it"to Jesus instead. and contemplating a hair cut.

how are things?

a loaded gun. a rollercoaster. i'm afraid i'll bottom out again like a child when j # 1 leaves in 1 week, or when j #2 leaves in a month. and the cat, aka the ward, still have. still trying to control the whole thing. still haven't gotten to the bank. still haven't been to the postoffice. and the wind currently is raging out there- so the startlingly clear weekend we've got is going to be cold. insert viscious bouts of whining and dish breaking here. who wants to see their tan fading, and not being able to relish the dress size diminishing? yes desert experience but still.

how are the kids?

-you know, classroom management = ugh. just behave already. and shut up! to the director seeing that i had let kids play with yo-yo's for 20minutes and trade cards in the back for the same amount of time...in my defense they were paying attention... it was a bad day i tell you and i had other things on my mind= lecture on being more strict. here to learn, etc. blah. yes, yes. ok. she was nice about it though.

-i really am loathing kindergarten. i just really don't have the energy. i walk in defeated. they need immediate focus and attention and i'm just like ugh, shut up! sit down! stop making each other cry, and hitting each other with umbrellas. stop. stop asking for water, for pencils, for the bathroom. snarf. of course i didn't ask for that class and still.

-one kid i have obsesses over his shoes. the ones he has on. sometimes the soccer cleats he's brought with him, tying them, untying and tying again, straightening them... oh and smelling them. yes. i suppose anything to distract you from english. yah i know. it just takes him someplace. the other kid just sort of yawns, clearly wants to die, and is only slightly apologetic about it. the other one takes quite a while to snap back to reality. for obvious reasons.

-i'm trying to work through candy and treats. some kids are way too competitive and that bag i bought is gone one week in.

-i think they like me though?

do you feel settled yet?

mentally yes. physically no. emotionally apparently not. apt. wise yes. but i think i've got the buying food thing down.

when did things start to feel more 'ok, i live here now'?
um no.

do you think you'll be going to church there?

i am. i've got a church 10min from my house. it's a bit formula and there's not really anyone my age but it'll do. some worship. some songs. a word. and maybe lunch with the youngins.

 

what do you do in your free time? 
mostly i sleep and watch downloads. i mean really i don't even turn on the tv, or draw, or exercise (blaming weather). on weekends when i'm not ill i walk on the beach if the weather is good, i go into shin which is 35min away at least and buy fancy groceries at emart, i go to church. i may try going to the coffee shop tomorrow and the local dime store for some frivilous decorative items. i watch the exchange rate and think, ok i'm feeling better to go into town to the big bank, and then i think *eh* (which really was only just today), besides that lay on the heated floor and talk to God or not. i also spend a lot of time staring at the cat, my ward. tomorrow is unusual in that my flatmate is in the vagayjay monologues and i'm going to see her in it, and have dinner with some foreign peeps from church. the only other activities like the fire festival and the haiku death match have both been fails due to death flus. so free time for me feels more like, everyday figuring out what i'm going to eat for lunch (mostly yogurt and fruits) to dinner (at my lowest instant rice noodles and best marinated chicken with vege and rice), and sleeping, and keeping up on the shows, and saying, damned anxiety, and oh shit my pants are getting way too loose and god, wont' somebody please send me some lunch meat and brown tortillas. that havarti cheese i snapped and bought cost me $7+.

k.

ps. say hi to those mountains for me. i miss them. and i'm glad you get to see them upclose.