Day Off

It was perfect for a day off. It didn't insult you by putting on bad weather. For the first time I put my feet in the water, climbed on the volcanic rocks and thought, this rock here is where I'd pictured myself. And I saw trips to the beach in the future come spring were i would just sit or wander and it would connect me to the island and refresh me everyday before work. Winter though is a hardtime to come to anyplace- and i'd think harder still to come in fall- you witness the beauty of transition and are ushered into silent dormancy with no memory of what Spring will be like when it finally comes. I mean i see the signs, and what looks like terminal rain but don't really believe it it will break away. The days of average temps in the 50's and no bright and beaming sky will become just as monotonous. Nevertheless, the day had a grounding influence which led way to violent feelings come work on friday, back to softer feelings come Saturday to now more anxious feelings today. As true to the forecast it's been raining steadily still and the sky is awash in felted somber tones.

That's what reading Dickens does to a girl.

I keep wanting to relate other things but can't manage it. I'll leave off and try again tonight.

nevermind i'll jUst publish this and try and remember to blog about spiritual detachment and lost loves later. makes me think, oh man, this year is going to be something... emphasis on some... thing.