Wind and Snow,

I was jarred awake last night by the wind punching at my windows. I had left one open in the laundry room and the map i had in there was thwaking and things were clanging. In general a cacophony of rhythmic thwomps and rattles. I secured all the hatches and went back to bed, and woke up to only somewhat less stormy weather. And yesterday was so resplendent. I have no rhythms for the weather here so everyday i'm a little wait? whats today?Also when something goes wrong or becomes hard to do, like resetting my internet connection or dealing with the stupid sensitivity of my mousepad is enough to get me muttering about why everything has to be so hard. Even now I can sense the daunting task of trying to come up with food everyday, particularly lunch and dinner- and that alluring ramen i can't have which means i have to search down the ricenoodle version. wahhhh.  Makes me wonder what on earth i was eating before. And there's no quinoa within miles. Anyway.

So having said, aw, hi korea.  And ooof! my 150lbs of luggage is killing me as i just walked a 100yds found storage lockers and wouldnt have ever considered it before- I stuffed my blue bag into one of the lockers and went to find the #4 train, as a man reeking of liqour was asking me for change. I had while there the question of why I bothered with Seoul in the first place. I was looking for something I think. Some sign of my right decision or Seoul being closed to me. I think it had a lot to do with the too easy access to coffee shops and american eateries too. But anyway I came off the train pretty easily and was immediately left with the Where the #(*$%#! AM I! The map to the hostel made no sense, because as we'll discover I came out at the wrong exit or possibly even the wrong station. After walking around the corner, then down the block, probably in hindsight getting closer but still not on target to my destination, and the wind stinging my cheeks- theres only so much hunching over to tuck your face into your coat and scarves, while wheeling 90lbs of luggage + a heavy backpack you can do. I should've ditched the other bag too. Alas. So TAXI!

I was staring right at him, with my one bag tipping over into the street, and causing a general scene that begrudgingly the older dude pulled over and helped me with my things, muttering. I know the feeling sir. I handed him the hostel directions, and 3600 won later, and a confirmation that i wouldve not wanted to walk that long he dropped me off saying we were at the university. At least I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Of course that left me near the hostel but not AT the hostel. But by then I had spotted the NewYork Hotdog Place and the Dunkin Donuts which lead me to the Family Mart, and finally to the Windroad Hostel. (that is how most of the directions are. it is never go down 1st, .25 and then turn left on 3rd.) So then,

The place behind the creaking metal door looked like a complete hole! Oh hostels. Anyway get your shite together and make this place presentable at any season! As the courtyard was tiny and encased in metal and concrete-grey---- some faded flags, empty pots and desolate seating made the place seem completely abandoned. As it was I had to take my shoes off and trundle through the flimsy slidding door, for the woman to say to me that nothing was open because it was NewYears- i thought, ah, the first prophetic sign. As it turns out old korea was open to me but the new korea wasn't. Or rather the balance of my 2 days was something like starbucks and palaces? tea houses and traditional musicals...

So I left for the nearest palace which she was convinced was closed. Nope. Open and Free! On new years. So there I was wandering around Changgeonggang Palace and getting excited to go back to the hostel to watch my korean drama 'Tree with Deep Roots' because it totally takes place in palaces like the ones i saw from the Joseon period... Ok, first excersion check. Now the thing about food... nothing in fact was open except for a couple places, but i am terminally wary of trying new things. Ironic i know. But i lapped the block twice near my hostel to make very sure i wanted to even try this one place- dokgalbi- and then to fret over if they took CC's or not. It was delicious. Phew. Grilled chicken marinated, with cabbage and such. And then back home discovering all of my US shows were barred to me by the usual methods if you know what i mean. But i ask you why dramafever which hosts entirely korean dramas is unwatchable in korea!? HURUMPH.

Nevermind. I passed out by 6. I had totally failed the 2nd day challenge of acclimation. My little shoebox of a room was too cozy, (albiet thin walled, hearing someone snarf and hack in the shower- uck). The next day i was up early waiting for the dawn to come sluggishly in to my tiny window, and I was off to Seoul Tower to get a vista of the city from the Northern slope of Namsam Hill. Of course there was the inevitable, which way do i go! Walk this way? No maybe this way? (turns out both wouldve been right)... and not a breakfast place but the ubiquitous 'paris baguette' open. Can i eat anything there? no.

The ride up the cable car was the most cool. I faired pretty well and spotted a couple of foreigners. We aren't hard to miss really. Anyway, I love the mountain peaks surrounding Seoul. The place is really massive and spreads all around Namsam. Once up there, there were more steps, which obviously i complained about- and what i encountered at the palaces too- why are all the steps so tall!? My bathroom step is the same way. They're short people. Why on earth are they building steps that are at least a foot or more in height? I don't get it. So up i went, and once there decided i really didn't need to go to the top of Seoul tower, and so gazed at some locks- lots of locks actually, that lovers have begun leaving for a long time now, to symbolize their unity etc... etc... etc...

So this is where it gets boring, if you're still with me- i'll encapsulate-
Walk to Starbucks, Find Tourist Center!, Figure out a Musical to watch, Stupidly think killing 6 hours won't be a problem, go to Seoul Art Museum, go to Deksugsung Palace, encounter first squat toilet, have a man offer to take a picture of me for me, and then i tried to take a pic of him with his ipadd- tricky... bravely try downstairs eatery- i hate going up dark stairs or down them to anyplace where i'm getting food. It all seems a bit ominous or shady to me? I don't know why. But there i was. Eating a very savory broth with beef and vege and rice- bulgogi. Then off to yes, another tea house- ridiculously expensive 6,000 won where as my lattes at SB were maybe 4600. This is where time gets out of hand. I walk around a bit but its getting colder and windy-er, i cave and eat at mcdonalds to kill more time, i go to another tea house on the same street, much more reasonable, where the apples in the display are only for display? Bah. To then seeing Miso, The Musical. It had some singing and some acrobatics and general shenanigans and a love story of course. I sat next to a lovely girl with long hair lightly curled, thin, with a light smile, more robust then someone who you love that's dying of consumption but that's the effect she had. You just wanted to squeeze her, she oozed heart, and she who had met a french boy who was trying to learn korean for her no doubt- so i'd hear them talking in french and then halting english together, and she hoped that i would have a memorable time at the show. She really was endearing.

And the musical made me laugh and kept me up late and got me ready for the next day, so off i went to the #2 train to transfer to #4 and find myway back... but i'll stop now and save some for next time... as it is i have that nagging anxiety about lesson planning for my first class. Though these sorts of classes I feel are more improv and less plan- which would require I have tricks up my sleeve and i don't... So we'll see.

Catching up,

Right so, before I get to Jeju-
There's me in the kitchen as my friends become convinced that I absolutely must find somewhere to stay when I get to Seoul. I don't know why it didn't bother me or why I couldn't be bothered. It's possible I'd lost the inability to take on any new information. They were driving me nuts but it was nice to let them do it for me. I think even as I sit here it's a struggle to articulate something that feels like being thrown into a rushing river and defaults me into silence. It's all going by a little too fast, and having been doubled over with waiting for so long- i must still be in that position. It made goodbye easier though. Woo, something is finally happening!  And I had become stagnant in everything I love, and things that I liked- lattes, french fries... general depression and restlessness.

Also something i was thinking about yesterday, when God's laid a path for you, it's nothing for you to just walk on it. It doesn't seem radical or crazy. It seems perfectly natural. It's almost hard to waste time trying to explain how obvious it is. Which is probably why I kept thinking, what's all the fuss? What is such a big deal? It's not that far. It's not that long. It's not that much of a change. I will just x-y, and then a-z and that will be that. At a certain point I didn't think I could hold all the love that was being poured out over me at my leaving. I was constantly startled and speechless. I blurted out at a tea on one of the last days that time is gentleness. Which usually and probably never will again feel that sort of thing, but when I think back to teaching overseas out of gradschool and how it seemed too big, too much of everything to now, during a fast, it clicked and I said, yes, without blinking an eye. It's so evident to me of how God has moved me and transformed me. He said, my provision for you is there. And i said, OK. It also blinds you to the obvious recklessness of your position- in bare bones: a random guy that you sort of new in highschool mentions that since you're jobless you should come to teach in koera on FB, having never taught before you say yes after having fasted from meat and sugar for 21 days, because it is clear as the sun setting on the water that's the direction you should go, you spend $300 on fees to do this thing, and then you start talking to strangers on the internet, you apply to a school you've never heard of on a place you've never been, you and they both agree that you should come teach, even though they've never seen you, and don't know if you'll be good but based on a flinty resume and 1 conversation, so you upheave your entire life- you give up control of your house, car, cats, church to God, because there's nothing else you can do, but it also seemed a constant beacon of, I told you there were 3 things you had to give up control over, right yes, that's going to make letting go easier, and then you go, and find yourself on a plane full of asians flying over the pacific ocean.

Most of my friends could not see the teaching thing- I suppose I'm the only one who finds it not only ironic but almost inevitable. On one of the last days of high school there was a conversation about careers, and I had two teachers that I loved tell me how good a teacher I would be, and a couple friends I remember agreed. I thought, oh never! I don't know why. Probably a lot of bias over the US school system, over bureaucracy, but i felt it looming all these years since like a prophecy. Which reminds how important it is, the things that are constantly spoken over people- over me for this trip specifically and I think, wow, what on earth am I going to be doing in korea! it must be amazing and special! And orienting it in a way of its not me but God keeps the head swelling to a minimum but it also directs my purpose, to do whatever He has for me, and whatever He wants. We'll see.

Anyway, ok that felt good. Like there were some thoughts there and some words strung together. Back to the 21st. My dad asking if i needed cash, and saying to have fun, and my mom holding a cat and saying bye! After bearhugging a couple of my besties goodbye, kerry and amber took care of me and ushered me to LAX, paid for parking, paid for a cart, finding out my carryon was 20 lbs over, paid for that, and then sent me off with some waves and laughs through a shortline at security. Where shortly there after i ate a squished tangerine, and forgot my toilettries bag, so imagine my surprise when a very put together attendent came walking down the aisle with it and inquiring. Not only that but someone asked me if i would kindly be so gracious as to sacrfice my middle seat so the mother and daughter could sit together and if I wouldn't mind having to sit in the aisle seat. Ohhh, o-k. Sigh.

I only got emotional a couple times. When Turtle (my 18yrold tortisehair) seemed to say goodbye to me, sort of kills me even now, and when I turned off my phone. That very dramatic internal voice that was saying, IT'S TIME. Of course in order to cancel att they want me to call from that said phone, internationally. Superawesome. But anyway, it all went as planned. I stayed up, watched the Help, ate some bibimbop, reluctantly got up for breakfast and then went back to sleep and we landed. It all seemed very ordinary. And after the jamba juice and resting at the airport i figured out where the express to seoul was and very reluctantly gave up my luggage cart, and sat and tried to figure out what the directions to the hostel actually meant and if i really shouldn't just call it quits and get a cab. I allowed myself brief looks out the window to the dawn lit hills of the northern borders, and it just brought a smile to my face, and i was like, aw, hi korea. Familiar, like touching a soft and favorite fabric. Or maybe a more, we meet at last, aren't you delicious, sort of thing.

love-me.
Next up, the hostel and seoul impressions.

(ps. this is what they did to my yellow umbrella. it was the only thing TSA inspected and even the custom agent was like, excuse me, what's in the box... why my yellow umbrella of course. and the only thing SG commented on, you brought your umbrella? we have plenty of those. no NO YOU DO NOT. you do not have my yellow umbrella. puhlease.)

Unforgivable 2 month gap,

As I sit here on my tiny chair, that is as we speak contemplating death, poor chair, I realize that the gap in the story for myself and my eventual hordes of fans is really bad. So let's see:

Job notice pops up on daveseslforum. I apply immediately. Oh jeju! Kang and Damon both think that I won't be able to find something until mid january and they are slow, actually don't ever send me any more job notices. Despite repeated requests for them to do so, and them repeatedly telling me they will. And suddenly I'm only talking to damon and never to kang. Sadness. Mr.Jeju sent me a couple notices at first but then since it seemed that i wanted to come in January or end of january sort of dismissed me entirely too. But then the lovelies on Jeju called SG asked me to interview. I did. She contacted my references pretty immediately and then NOTHING. . . and something about a terrible cold, and not sure, and blah blah blah. Damon finally said, I'll send you notices... ok. SG said, I'll let you know... It wasn't until the 26th that I finally said I really don't mean to pressure you but i must as the Seoul peeps want me to work there- and i think finally got miffed that i didn't. So that by wednesday SG finally says yes to hiring me, and by the 31st the contract is negotiated and expressed to them. They get it by the 3rd. The visa comes through lightening fast on the 4th. Friday I apply for the visa. I buy a plane ticket. By monday my visa is in- and thus begins the speedy downslope of departure that was the 21st. So obviously i can't be blamed for not stringing a coherent thought together. And yes, i was busy playing xbox but that was totally necessary.