I keep meaning to,

blog about the struggle and release (the plateau i hit and the new place) and whatever but i suppose you just need to give it up sometimes and blog about otherthings, in the midst of annoying students that make your mind scream "i hate these kids!" and immediately you start wrestling with the Lord in your mind as you say AahApple and ok take out your book! (i have a couple students i'm giving independent help to and ohman! "teacher, game yes, book NO" and "yongaru NO" the other day as i was setting up in my classroom i got a flashofaheadache and i asked, who's there, and i heard 'the destroyer'... i was like anything like that better not be hanging out in my classroom. GET OUT RIGHT NOW. i have a hard enough time with all of these pulsing emotional vessels as it is, but anyway here, take a look at these photos-- ah, lilacs growing on my walk to school. couldn't resist. mmm peaceful. and the bowl i got for $1. i know right. there's a traditional ceramic store on my busroute from church and everyday my eye is pulled thataway and i resist.

and here are my new curtains. these ones were the overthetop purchase as i meant this to be a cheap and economic roomdivider. sure i stitched them myself and they are floor length and i did go into a fabric and hanbuk market place all by myself but... i failed to haggle and was just like ahhh get me out of here. this place is freaking me out.

and here are the curtains i love, enough to say the photos dont do them justice. these i will be taking back with me. they ground the wall and make a good contrast to the detail of the wallpaper... i think my whole subconscious mission i realized was to counter the ocean with as many earthy and warm elements as possible. it started with the red fans but then it kept going.

keep reading if you'd like to hear about my frivolous thoughts on the weekend, also i'm cooking chicken and i was delighted to find pesto sauce so there's that. ok so the weekend was great. the weather was warm. outings abounded. which made the week coming up glaring in all its laborness... everyone seems to be feeling a little aggressive and grumpy. j and i mused that because we are always suppressing our emotions for the kids or lets be honest we'd be yelling at them and slapping their difficult faces, we become vulnerable and angry that we're not getting our own ways. and our egos as much as we like to be selfless and sacrificial for the children (ahem)... are freaking out. i don't want to be here either kid! teaching, hard. being a student, hard. grrrrr! and then the week seems forever. the hours incalculably long. wednesday. what it's only wednesday! ugh! slump! and then you think just saturday i was on a bus to a mongolian horseriding show... getting agitated about the realities of circus life and hoping the horses and children were treated well. and eating grilled fish and drinking cider while looking out into the wonderous night. followed by the next day of church and fellowship, and more flowers and ocean walks and meandering and cute oldmen at folklore museums wondering why such beautiful women aren't out with men and posing us in front of the rather handsome male manniquins- making us wonder equally why as well- but the ratio here if we were even to discuss practically 60% to 40%... and then couple that with the island fever of drinking, partying and reverting back to adolescene and it drops even lower. but anyway then the beach and more food and more wandering and no wonder that monday becomes vile. but then it's also hard to be continually and daily present wherever you are. so many things are pulling you backward and forward in time. it's better just to not think and just be... but then that's another blog and i must get out of here after a lovely video chat to the ocean and just be at the ocean and not at school. at least for 40minutes. and live there in that space until the next one.

xo,k.