Oh the Hoops,

COST: so far: $290

FBI CBC (aka pain in my ass)
Criminal Background Check

• Fingerprints: $20
• Mail it: $10 (w.sase)
• Processing Fee: $18
• Total Time: 9 weeks!
• * only for them to do it WRONG. they didn't include the seal or signature as requested.

Passport: $110 (Renewel)

• Mail it: $5 priority
• Print photos: $1
• Taking them myself: $0
• Total Time: 2wks! (shocking govt. shocking)

BA Transcripts/Diploma

• 2 transcripts: $6 (bonus two spare ones mailed to me accidentally. score!)
• 1 copy of diploma: $8
• Mobile Notary: $35
• County Clerk Sig: $9 AND 1 1/2 later (also they don't take visa. pain in myass.)
• CC Fee: $1.75
• State Dept Apostille: $26
• Done over 1 day. (after the t/d came)
• CA SUCKS.

MFA Transcripts/Diploma

• 2 Transcripts: $10
• 1 Diploma: FREE
• 1 Notary: FREE
• it went missing and they sent it to me again! express! FREE!
• 3 Apostilles: $6 !!!! (just because i could)
• Mail it: $10 and change
• Total Time: 2 wks for apostille. 
• ILLINOIS WINS.

RESUME

• Yah, hmm. Something, something, need coverletter...

THE GAMBLE*

• Have the state Notary sign the federal FBI CBC: $10
• aka the "technical loophole"
• Have the countyclerk authenticate the signature: $9
• Have the CA SD authenticate the county clerk signature: $20

if the Gamble pays off: I'M DONE.
if the Gamble doesn't pay off:

• $10 in mailing fees to wait another 2 wks if they agree to take it back even though the state notary stamped it. Back to the beginning? Imminent disaster?
• $70+ to expedite it once it comes back. Not sure how long it would take after that.

.....
not included: $45 F2 Visa Fee
needed: 2 diplomas apostilled, 2 sealed transcripts from BA, 2 bonus apostilled MFA transcripts, copy of passport photo page, passport, 4 passport photos, resume, [contract, health statement, school info, references from school]